Stop liking your bad self, and live better

I'd like to talk about something that is really important: IDENTITY. Each of us has an identity that is made up of every little bit about us, like strands of twine that make a rope. Just look at your ID(entity) card, preferably a driver's license like this one.

This card identifies you by physical description. And chances are you also build part of you personal identity on your physical description. For example I weave part of my identity out of being: a white person, a short person, a blue eyed person, a skinny person, a left-handed person, a male person, all based on my physical identity.

You probably also build your identity based on other common factors like religion, social/economic status, hometown, profession, family background and structure, etc. All those things you are asked on every survey you have ever taken. But you also base it on what you think about yourself and what others have identified about you.

The problem is that often something that is negative about us will be repeated over and over until we take that in and make it part of our identity, even though it really is not. And as soon as you make that little negative thread part of you identity cord you start to like it, even if you say you don't. So you say something like this: "Well I hate it, but I'm just a lazy person, that's just the way I am."

NO! That is not JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. But be honest, you like it, cuz you think it is part of you. If you are ever going to become better you have to get rid of this notion, whatever it is, that negative aspects are part of you. It is really hard to do this, because if you choose to give one up, especially one that you have believed is a part of you for a long time, it will hurt, it will hurt a lot. Like the man in The Great Divorce who rips the lizard off his shoulder it will feel as though a part of you has died, but the truth is a parasite eating off your soul has died, not you.

See, the problem with negative threads is that they disintegrate, because they are not part of you, when things get difficult they disappear and you are left with a frayed and nearly broken cord of identity that cannot support you.

So stop liking your bad self. If it is something that is holding you back than it is not really part of you.  Just like the dross was never part of the gold, but the gold thought it was. Believe me, when you come out on the other side you will still be you, just a better and purer form of you, and that is a good thing.


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Thanks for reading, and remember, live better.